In my consulting role I coach managers seeking to improve their workplace culture, and so I work in a living laboratory where stories like this one are very real (and multiply like rabbits!) The fun of writing them up as fiction is in adding some drama while trying to convey a good lesson as well – a moral to the work story if you will. However you are absolutely right in saying that it must be entertaining for anyone to bother reading it. The other challenge for me is brevity versus explaining everything too much, something which is the polar opposite of the relentless pursuit of clarity I’m a proponent of in the workplace.

As for Ally: I do want to pursue this story as time allows me to, and so I enjoyed your speculation about her character tremendously, thank you so much for the time you took to read, and to think about your comment for me.

Not sure that Ally doubts herself as much as she has impatience with the situation she happens to be in… we shall see as this story unfolds!

Okay, I’m going on too long, but I don’t care if you don’t. Why I like workplace fiction is because the workplace has all the elements of good stories — desire, power, obstacles, outcomes, strong characters, etc. I applaud how you’ve managed to elicit a true emotional engagement in a work setting.

Now I need one piece of constructive criticism. So I’ll go back up and look for something. Be back in a minute …. Okay, I’m back. Thanks for waiting. And my verdict is: The silence. I think you held on a little too long in the arc of the story letting us know that is what Ally fears. Silence. She opens up the Huddle for people to speak, and nothing happens. But I’ve also got to challenge you. Is that really what she’s afraid of? She’s pushing hard. She already knows she’s beginning to lose people. She’s not afraid of simply silence, but that active silence of contempt that happens so often in work environments. But, of course, there’s much more riding on this that you just allude to, the cliffhanger. So, I don’t know. Just a thought. Otherwise, your technique is good and the story is lucid (my way of saying I can follow it).

I enjoyed this and I look forward to more.
Jeff Posey´s last blog ..Perhaps You Shouldn’t

Sorry I’m so late getting around.
~jon
J. M. Strother´s last blog ..The Double Bind

There is a lot to be said about being “too happy being an observer,” especially when it comes to writing. The detail and inner weavings you crafted into Birth of an Idol, your #FridayFlash, taught me so much – others too: You were able to create quite a conversation there!

And yes, that exploration you took is definitely a path I “wouldn’t take in real life.”

Writing is a constant journey of growth and learning, not unlike Ally’s path toward management.

Thank you so much for that weaving into my work’s mission!

I must say that I really appreciate the peer-to-peer coaching that I have seen happen within this #FridayFlash community just within these short two weekends I have dipped my toes into the water: Such a wonderful way to learn, from people who are so empathetic with the effort —both the writing itself, AND with their genuine sincerity in the giving and receiving of constructive feedback. Thank you so much for this generosity in catching what I might be doing right!

And by the way Chris, I know I have already left a comment at your place, but as another prompting for anyone coming by here: I LOVED The Carver’s Daughter, your story this week. (Just scroll back up a bit for the link captured by Comment Luv dear readers).

Getting more comfortable with silence in conversational situations can be tough for managers: They feel control is slipping away from them, without considering the obvious — the other person is thinking, and may need the courtesy of silence to finish their own thoughts without a manager (or anyone else in a group conversation) filling that silence with more noise. I like the two words you offer, suggesting that we need to move (grow?) from the unpleasant to the productive — and conversation can give us much practice!