Comments on: The Truth Will Set You Free #FridayFlash

By: Rosa Say

Rosa Say — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 02:35:20 +0000

The beauty of the blog Jon – never too late! I love having your feedback whenever it comes, and I appreciate your reading, thank you.

I have yet to finish all of last week’s entries too; #fridayflash is reaching runaway popularity! Wonderful reading during my evening hours after work.

By: J. M. Strother

J. M. Strother — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 01:48:08 +0000

I figured she was pregnant, and I cringed when when she blurted out her news first. Since the words had not actually been said, it was not too late for Ally to pull the plug. Never count those chickens while the hawk’s still in the air. ;) Nicely written.

Sorry I’m so late. I’m WAY behind this week.
~jon
J. M. Strother´s last blog ..UserPagemathsinger

By: Rosa Say

Rosa Say — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:18:15 +0000

Oh thank you so much Chris! I am reveling in this feeling of being looked forward to, mahalo for this joy :-)

By: Chris Chartrand

Chris Chartrand — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 21:35:40 +0000

Rosa, your stories are a true breath of fresh air. While I must admit I guessed the twist, I had no idea where or how you were actually going to bring us to the ending and was so relieved with how you handled it. I’m beginning to really look forward to your work.
~Chris
Chris Chartrand´s last blog ..The Warden

By: Rosa Say

Rosa Say — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 18:20:43 +0000

Thank you Jeff. I have noticed your #FridayFlash comments elsewhere too, and I appreciate the learner in you. You are becoming quite a distinctive leader in this forum and this community: While your intentions may be quite personal (your own learning) you are teaching many of us at the same time. When I read your comments I want to improve my own feedback for others too, and give as well as you give.

You teach us to learn too, to be open, and thus optimize the experience of writing to share, but also to improve. Constructive criticism is not an easy thing for anyone to receive, even when we know we should: We can better welcome in the possibility we may need to kill some darlings or make shifts, or we see happy accidents because you call them out – that is honestly what you just did for me with this particular comment, saying that “Camille handled it in a very buddhist way.” I thought it important that she admire Jacob Silvers because to “play the game” well you must have that appreciative regard for those who are winners in their own right.

When younger I was very ideological, but over the years I have learned how little black and white exists, and further, how very fascinating the grey can be! I am more interested in context and variation than in fact, for there is so much abundance there (whereas to me, fact is scarcity.)

As for how I will handle more imbalanced characters, we shall see! It is something I have become comfortable with in my coaching, but I am learning that doesn’t always equate to the written word in this flash fiction form – at least not within my present skill level! So we keep learning. Thank you so much for continuing to mentor me.

By: Rosa Say

Rosa Say — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 18:05:24 +0000

Aloha Trev, welcome to Talking Story,
There can be quite a lot of devious in the workplace, that’s for sure, especially where career tracking gets so carefully calculating. This could have gone another way, but I allowed two things to guide me: I stumbled across that photo of the vintage postcard, and it triggered my own memory.

It’s very satisfying to know when I have surprised someone, for as the writer you know what will happen and can only partially empathize with your reader, so thank you very much for giving me this win!

By: Jeff Posey

Jeff Posey — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 17:36:53 +0000

Rosa: I’m flattered that my comment resonated with you so well. Thank you for the call out.

I love how you pose what is really an ethical dilemma and you “solve” it without apparent ideology. Camille handled it in a very buddhist way, keeping to a center path, engaging nothing in excess. Very balanced. Reminds me of how ballarina-like athletes can be while they excel in their sports. This kind of character feels compelling and strong. If she or you had any ideological leaning, you’d risk having a “goody two-shoes” feel. I detect none of that. Admirable.

I do have to wonder how you will handle more imbalanced characters. The workplace can be a battlefield of the dysfunctional. I look forward to seeing your skill in battle.

Jeff Posey
Jeff Posey´s last blog ..Of Lines and String

By: trev

trev — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 17:04:23 +0000

Like KJM, I was caught by surprise. You did a great job of building the mystery. So much so, I expected something more devious in the reveal.
trev´s last blog ..The Collector – #fridayflash

By: Rosa Say

Rosa Say — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 06:03:12 +0000

You could be right CJ… thank you for commenting for me. I left the ending purposely opened to both possibilities. Camille is making a big assumption here: “That one sentence was all she needed to hear. She’d won.” Maybe not.

By: CJ

CJ — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 13:45:33 +0000

The ending caught me me by surprise as well. I actually was waiting to hear that she did not get the job AFTER she told about her pregnancy – as in the news Ally was sure Camille would be happy about hearing was that her friend and team member Jacob got the promotion. (The positive spin on someone else getting the promotion is the norm in the workplace as well.) Great job!
CJ´s last blog ..#fridayflash "Family Ties"