We are working on a rediscovery of The Daily 5 Minutes. This posting has also been written as a primer for those hearing about D5M for the very first time.
I need to be crystal clear about something:
If you’re not giving your staff the gift of the Daily Five Minutes®
you’re not Managing with Aloha™
~ So you want a MWA jumpstart. Do the Daily Five Minutes
However, you CAN do the Daily Five Minutes without having yet learned about the rest of Managing with Aloha.
There is much learning within the values-based, sense of place work culture builder which is Managing with Aloha: I consider myself a lifelong student of values-based behavioral theory too. So I sort it out for organizational construct in the MWA ‘Ohana in Business model as 19 values and 9 key concepts. When you are ready to jump in with actual practice, meaning that learning-by-reading will now become your learning-by-doing, the D5M is the very best place to start.
Why? The D5M is the best way to get your inputs for the rest of the MWA ‘Ohana in Business model. It is wonderful in separating signal from noise, and thus it helps you work on the right things: The people partnerships which help everything else make sense, within any learning or workplace initiatives you choose to continue with.
The Daily 5 Minutes: 3 Values, 9 Questions
At its core purpose, Managing with Aloha is a values-based sensibility for worthwhile work. In the classes we personally present at Say Leadership Coaching, we teach the D5M in connection with three values, Ha‘aha‘a, Kākou and ‘Ike loa;
Ha‘aha‘a is the value of humility and thus it helps us to be open to what we can receive from others, being willing to have them connect with us, and affect us in a transformational way. We learn from other people, fully intending to do so. Being humble is never lowly; it actually lifts us up, for humility is the act of appreciating and accepting good from others, from a place of strength and confidence in one’s self-esteem.
Kākou is the value of inclusiveness. In a healthy workplace culture, inclusiveness promotes ‘all in’ togetherness, and the ‘language of we’ will be spoken more often than not. Thus, we think of Kākou as the value of effective, and complete communication. When communication is inclusive, it embraces diversity and independent, creative thinking. It connects everyone in an organization, so everyone on a workplace team is “in the know.” Everyone is conversing.
‘Ike loa is the value of learning and knowledge. The value of learning can be overwhelming, and people approach it in different ways; some consider it more strength than value. Within D5M we focus on the knowledge we gain by specifically learning from other people — we value it, and both become stronger. In using the Daily 5 Minutes, you will get to know your partners exceptionally well while simultaneously improving both your listening skills and your relationship with them. You will discover the knowledge which resides in other people, and in the workplace, that’s significant.
To give managers the best overall view of the D5M in a workshop setting, we have a teaching model we call the 9 D5M Boxes. Each box covers one of 9 basic questions about the Daily 5 Minutes. I presented them to an eager, enthusiastic group of managers recently, and they inspired me to share them with you as well.
I would love to personally teach D5M to you too, but you honestly don’t need me, and can get started on your own:
Read the short MWA book excerpt here if you have not yet done so: The Daily 5 Minutes. Then come back here, and focus on seeing D5M through the three values the practice promotes.
1. What is it?
The Daily 5 Minutes is a simple habit, and an invitation: Each day, without fail, managers are to give 5 minutes of no-agenda time to at least one of their partners. There is “no agenda” for the manager. Your invited D5M receiver is the talker, and about anything they want to bring up. D5M is mostly spontaneous, and initiated as 5-minute opportunities pop up, filling work lulls and dead time wonderfully. However it is a brand new, two-person conversation, informally conducted, yet understood as a formal organizational practice for everyone, not an increased frequency of random “talk story” or water cooler small talk. Log the D5M conversation in a simple checklist of names to ensure you don’t miss anyone on your team; invite your partners in turn on a regular basis so they all share in the gift of your listening attention.
Related reading: The D5M Hualalai story.
(the Daily 5 Minutes book excerpt from Managing with Aloha)
For more on humility: D5M-ing your Decisions: See with your ears.
We managers don’t have all the answers; we find them. We also find stories.
2. Why is it a habit?
Consistency is the key to having this work, for to be kākou, the Daily Five Minutes cannot be hit and miss; it must be inclusive and repetitive as a cultural practice which creates sense of place for your partners in the workplace. Repetition is also key for the D5M conversations to build on each other in substance. You are your habits, we all are, so make your habits productive ones. Good habits perpetuate good results automatically, as by definition, habits are “predictable patterns of behavior.” Therefore, thoughtfully chosen habits will make up a personal work system you can trust in. Once you start, D5M becomes highly visible as a sign of a manager’s generosity with their time and attention, and their respect for what others have to offer. The benefits of the D5M will grow over time as well, by merit of the ever-increasing comfort level within the conversation.
Related reading: You are Your Habits, so Make ‘em Good!
3. What is the benefit for me?
The D5M is designed to give you practice in cultivating better listening habits so you can learn of the good stuff other people can share with you. The goal of the conversation is gaining an increase in helpful two-person agreements in a practical yet personal way. It shifts a manager’s priorities from task work to coaching and support. As a result, it delivers better relationships with people, and your workplace partners don’t ever slip under your radar. The biggest benefit? People talk to you without hesitation once a circle of comfort is established between you. You will have fewer operational surprises, and you can be proactive instead of reactive. In addition, the D5M has been proven to minimize voice-mails, emails, and other work interruptions because so much is handled within the regularity and predictability of the D5M practice.
Related reading: So, you think you’re approachable huh?
4. What is the benefit for the employee, my receiver?
Listening to someone often, and hearing them completely is a huge gift. You are giving your partners a sense of belonging and well being as you help them tap into their own bank of intellectual and emotional knowledge. They feel included, valued, and continually “in the know.” They feel they are important to you, and are important to the workplace. They learn to speak up more, share what they know, and ask for your help; verbal skills become acquired practical wisdoms. At minimum, they know that they always have a chance to catch up with you on a regular basis. The D5M is like a DMZ, a demilitarized zone. D5M conversations are not documented, they present coaching opportunities wherein those helpful agreements are gained by both of you, and they are therefore a safe, unthreatening time, with no ramifications or repercussions.
Related reading: Employees or Business Partners?
For more on inclusiveness: Even Following is NOT a Passive Activity.
5. How do I start?
Tell your receivers what it is, and why you want to do it. An easy way is to share the D5M excerpt from Managing with Aloha with them, reading it together, and talking about it. Using your own words, stress that you sincerely want to give them more of your time than you have in the past, where you are completely open to just listen and respond to whatever they have on their minds. Let them know how often they can expect it based on how many partners you intend to give the D5M invitation too – for remember, it is not daily for them, but for your own practice. Use the first one you do with someone as a time to set the stage for every D5M which may follow, focusing on their comfort; the helpful agreements will come later. If you feel it necessary, begin with a 15 or 20-minute session first to start with a clean slate. Ask if they have more questions about the conversation itself, and catch up with each other.
Related reading: The Daily 5 Minutes: How to Get Started.
6. Who do I start with?
It’s generally a good idea to start with your direct reports and your peers first, for these are the people you want to be sure you have time for, and should be connecting with regularly and most frequently – they’re the ones on your team, and so they’re the ones to build into your best possible foundational habit. Then, add your boss to the mix – the D5M is a great way to “manage up.” Give yourself some learning time (your receivers will need that time too), and err for more frequency with your partners (at least once a week is good), as opposed to giving the D5M to more people. Enjoy the conversations! You’ll also want time to followup on any helpful agreements reached between you, so give yourself that time with establishing a D5M habit rhythm that works for you.
Related reading: Hey boss, what do you want to know?
7. How do I give it?
As a gift, and with the intention of Aloha. In starting each D5M, use language cues and ask permission, “Is this a good time to Take 5 with you? I’d like to give you my Daily 5 Minutes.” Take ownership of the where and when; meet partners in their comfort zone, and never D5M in your office. Most people prefer standing while D5M conversing, for standing is conducive to the 5-minute framing you are both intending to honor. So look for a good time for your receiver, and step outside of the work frenzy; walk to where you can listen well, and without interruption. Remember; you have no agenda; you intend to listen; increase your own comfort, and build your relationship with them by responding well too. Get comfortable with ‘golden silence;’ that time people need to think, and choose their words.
Related reading: We Learn Best from Other People.
8. How do I receive it?
When you receive a D5M invitation, you are the leader in the conversation, so you must be willing to engage and take that lead. The giver initiates it, and then responds to your agenda for the conversation. So speak up, and be ready with something to say. Bring your warmth, kindness, courtesy, and most interesting you to the conversation. Do your part in creating the D5M circle of comfort as your first goal. Help your giver with the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would hope they treat you — chances are, you’ll want to be a giver one day soon too. Use the time wisely, and respect the 5 minute time frame. D5M does not replace all other communication; if you have an issue which you expect will take longer, say so, cover it briefly, and schedule the time: That alone can be your helpful agreement for that D5M, and it’s a good one.
Related reading: How good (and gracious) a Receiver are you?
9. How do I end it?
When this is a formal practice in an organization and everyone knows what to expect, the beauty of D5M is that it really takes only 5 minutes – or less! The best ending is always “Thank you,” two words we all should use more than we do. Say “Great 5 minutes, thank you!” to acknowledge when you truly enjoy the conversation. Say “Thank you for talking to me about this” when something new has been shared with you; recognize the effort and trust it takes when partners open up to you. When you seek the partnership of mutually helpful agreements, ending well is about clarity: Have the two of you understood each other completely? If an issue did come up, be sure you each know what the next action step is that you have mutually agreed to take, and by when.
Related reading: Learn to Finish Conversations Well.
These 9 Questions make up the D5M primer we start all our managers with. Then, as they begin to practice the D5M, we engage in peer-to-peer coaching to help each other continually learn how to best handle different situations that come up – great management is a situational art!
Your time is one of the most precious resources you have, and to give it as a gift to someone in the form of the Daily 5 Minutes just may be one of the best work-expressions of unconditional aloha there is. Start today.
Trust in your good intentions: Getting into the D5M is not about the structure or circumstances being just right, it is about our intention to give a gift of time and personal attention to someone else. That’s the heart and soul of it, and where the goodness comes back to you.
Newest articles written about D5M:
- Can you fail with The Daily Five Minutes?: Embracing my natural resistance with doing so, if I were challenged to present The Daily Five Minutes to you with a warning label, this would be my draft with it.
- Your People are Your Daily: They aren’t “a project.” The good intention of sitting down with each and every employee in your company cannot be ‘a project.’ It has to be your everyday m.o. I don’t care how big your company is.
- Conversation “is a pain.”: You get way more work done as a result of conversations than you do when you have the so-called ‘luxury’ of not having them, and work nose to the grindstone in solitary silence — and this is doubly true when you’re a manager.
Coaching tips for those brand new to D5M:
This post has been continually tweaked and updated as time has gone by, and with each edit there is an argument in my head between my inner coach, blogger, and publisher. The gist of it: Offer related links or not?
If you’ve read this far you’re amazing.
There is no way you can take every link, and read everything here in one sitting and have it be meaningful, so I recommend this: Get started, using what you have read so far. Once you have done a few D5Ms you’ll have your “my real world” context for it. Come back, and review the 3 values and 9 questions just reading through them, and without taking any links at first. Then, take the links where you might still want to learn more: This page will remain here for you! And if you ever have another question, write to me.
I believe in you!
Rosa
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