Preface: Hō‘imi means “look for better and best” and is defined here: The 3 Secrets of Being Positive Dip into the Talking Story archives, and you’re likely to find several posts on productivity studies which I had done within a learner’s obsession I’d…

Funny too what you say about your “inner negative” and “inner positive” in that I wrote a bit in my journal yesterday about noticing that I used to refer to my writing muse as a “her” but now I have a tendency to think of my muse as a “him” and not only that, but a “he” who is much, much younger than me… no idea why…

And yes, oh, oh yes! to this:

I can think of no better way to practice Hō‘imi than applying it to other people. The challenge I put to myself is instead of seeing someone’s faults as the extent of their character, to see them as whole individuals and acknowledge their potential.

Essential for managers, and why what managers do is a calling!

I remember listening to a speech by Dr. Bill Thomas of The Eden Alternative way back in 2002 at the conferences Fast Company used to have: He made such an impression on me, when he talked about how he hires caregivers (“The Eden Alternative is an international not-for-profit organization dedicated to transforming care environments into habitats for human beings that promote quality of life for all involved.”)

Thomas said that they seek Caregivers who are more than caring and compassionate, in that they have “the gift of being able to see beauty in other people.” Looking for beauty in others (and finding their Aloha) is always a gift, but to see it in the aging body of someone who feels others have sent them to die quietly in a care home for the elderly is life-giving, and life-extending.

In some ways I think those who have learned to do this consciously are more compelling because there is a clearer ring of truth in it… comes from seeing the grit too?

and you gave me a smiling memory of something my dad used to say to us about acknowledging the stuff we don’t like as helping us figure out what we do like. He would say, “dirt makes us want clean.” Within our family we started telling each other to “gizzard it” after we kids had learned why chickens need gizzards to grind and digest tough food – your mentioning “grit” was my memory trigger!

I am glad you mentioned the element of sharing for that, to me, is a final piece to this process — similar to the concept of “third person teaching” where you can feel you have learned something enough to teach another person (sharing it), but in that process of articulating your teaching for them, you have to internalize your learning so much more, and the wonder of it all is that it becomes exponential for both of you.

Deliberance (which isn’t really a word I guess, but I think it should be!) is such a strength; it’s muscle building in being self-disciplined and resolute. In being sure. In believing.

And I love the suggestions you added for us on “small but significant things that alter your world view” ~Thank you!

Perhaps others have more suggestions to share?

For those who are learning to make this shift I would add as suggestions looking for small but significant things that alter your world view for the better. For example, look for an act of friendship, or kindness, or generosity. Look for one thing of beauty in the day.

I don’t think it’s possible to go through a day without coming across one act of kindness.

That knowledge alone is enough to change my experience of life.

BTW there is a book on this subject called Learned Optimism – I never read the whole thing, partly because at the time it seemed too far removed from my negative world view – but it does address the different consequences and attributes of those who are natural vs learned optimists, including how that affects compositions of teams in the workplace and so on.